Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Chain Letters

I recieved this email from my friend Paul R. I find it so true and so in synch with what i feel that I have left it untouched - so here you go.

PS: Lewis, don't think I'm plagiarizing, this is for the good of everyone.

Hello, my name is Lewis and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding
50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually
believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a
breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it
removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and
everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000?

How stupid are we?

"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll
get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"

What a bunch of bullshit.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and
sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was
started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget
pilgrims on the Mayflower.

Fuck 'em.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something
mildly
amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest
friends,and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will
somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" letters about 90 times.

I don't fucking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our
own unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to
leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant
for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll
receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know.

Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and
will consume your genitals

Have a nice day.

P.S. Send me a 100 bucks ASAP.

Lewis

1 comment:

Lakuda said...

the only stupid fucking bullshit chain-letters I get now are the ones about bank scams - you know the one?

"Hello dear mister sir, I am writing from my prison cell in addis arabiababa, nigeria. I only have dial-up access so I cannot stay on long. I have recently lost my husband of 47 years, king abdullah negeri sembalan, and he left me 99999999billion dollars. Please to give me your bank account number so I may transfer to you everything and when I get to your country I will split it with you. Most respectfully signed,
Samulalamula Princess Crapalonia"

What a bunch of bullshit. I guess hotmail doesn't catch that one as junk mail because it's about money. Fucking lottery, man...will I ever win it? My email says I do...every fucking day.

Again...what a bunch of bullshit.